I'm sorry about last night.
The thought crossed my mind as I signed off that I had certain aspects of my very PERSONALITY that changed due to this relationship, and the idea of burying those aspects of myself almost killed me, literally. After crying for an hour, I finally pulled myself together and went into a night of fitful sleep.
Unfortunately, I have no additional ideas about resolving this situation, save to find some way to retain my love of the blues, etc. but to remove certain emotional attachments to those things. This would be equal to a psychological surgery on myself, picking and prodding certain pieces of myself...lighting and snuffing out areas of my own psyche. Pretty heady stuff, honestly...not that I'm not up to it. In fact, as I write this, I am attempting to simultaneously form a battle plan to begin extraction of this information out of my life.
The first step is to replace positive thoughts or memories with ones of neutrality. The "specialness" of these places must be lost in order to return my frame of mind to a happier state. For my own protection, these places will remain in secret here, but I know of one such place I will pass by tomorrow, and that will begin my experiment in earnest. A tricky balance of neither hate nor love, simply indifference, must be achieved and I know just how to do this.
The grey skies are dispersing...
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